Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
