i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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