There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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