were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Houston, we have a squirter
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
