So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
