highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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