kristin has been a bad kristin
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
