Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
