i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
