i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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