Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
