I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
