Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
