What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Randomize
