ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
