I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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