I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I checked into jail on foursquare
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
