If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
