it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
