No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Drunk is not a location!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
