the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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