I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
