Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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