i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
