Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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