Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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