do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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