Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
