I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
