I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
