i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Never joke about your clitoris.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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