So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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