I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
