hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
