I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
