i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
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