in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
