Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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