i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You can't special order awesome
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
