Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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