I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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