hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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