She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
