I want to stick my p in your. b.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
