I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
