Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
