so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
