This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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