you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
