hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
