He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
